I am in a group with an author that I look up to and respect so much and this weekend she started a conversation about when authors (or anyone really) posts too much personal business on social media. I know we are all guilty of being so fed up with someone or something that we have to vent. That is normal, ok, and even encouraged. I guess this issue or discussion came from the notion of when you are in a public position (like an author or actor) is it really ok to put your personal and family business out on full blast for the world to see and judge you on?
When it comes to my online presence, I like to share bits of me so that my readers feel like they know me and like me. I want to be seen as a regular person who just happens to write awesome stories ;-) I really am what you see. I like to help people and have plans of taking over the world someday. (FYI...not in an evil dictator kind of way, but I want to make the world a better place for everyone. Fill it with good stories that make people happy. Then in turn people will stop being so hateful and mean to each other. **My mother always said that I am a dreamer who lives with my head in the clouds.)
I know that I am guilty of ranting online when things get overwhelming for me. I try to be as generic as possible for the safety of my family and friends. I use my Facebook wall as an open notebook sometimes. Putting my feelings and frustrations out there so they are no longer eating at me but to also let someone, who may be going through the same thing that I am, know that they are not alone. Again, I try really hard not to get into specifics. I don't want to put all my business out there. I am not doing it for attention or to be judged, I really just need a place to vent. We all do. It is never a good thing to keep all the negative stuff bottled up inside. Writing has become an outlet for me and lets me get my feelings and frustrations out in a constructive way.
I guess the issue comes in when someone in a public position literally puts all their business out there. And not just on rare occasions, but all the time. They use their social media platforms (where family, friends, fans, potential fans, and strangers all follow them) to let everything loose. I know for me, reading some of these posts is uncomfortable. Really really uncomfortable! I really have no business knowing what is going on in your divorce, marriage, parenting, work, etc...There are some things that are private and need to be dealt with in private. ***This is not me being all preachy and judgey. This is me just saying that I do have a lot of respect for you and your situation. There are just somethings that should not be discussed in the public arena.*** I am also going to add that this is not me saying that my friends can't come to me and vent. I am always a soundboard for the people in my inner circle to come and work through anything that is going on with them.
Also when you put your business out there for the world to see and comment on, you can't get upset when everyone has an opinion on what you are going through. And you really can't get upset when they actually voice that opinion. This is a lesson that I have personally learned the hard way. When you invite people into your personal battles, you are also inviting their comments (good or bad), opinions, judgements, etc. You are essentially putting a huge sign on your back saying, "Judge me!! Fairly or unjustly!!" I know that I am guilty of putting something out there and then getting upset when someone isn't on my side.
Also, do you really want to put all your private stuff out in the open. Or on the flip side, do you really want to know all the intimate details of someone else's life. Like I said earlier, I am guilty from time to time of putting personal stuff online for the world to see. It is a coping mechanism when I am at the end of my rope. I am also guilty of reading other people's post and forming opinions based on what I read. I try really hard not to comment with anything other than support or a funny GIF. I personally never want to cause anyone more pain than they are already in. I say that, because you (the author of the post) are obviously in some type of pain when you feel the need to reach out in this way.
In closing this post, I guess the purpose of my rambling is that yes...there is a such thing as too much sharing on social media. What you vent about publicly right now, after you calm down and think things through, you will realize that you really don't want the world knowing this thing/demon/battle. Also, you may not want to be judged by strangers on what may be the worst thing or lowest moment in your life at the moment. What I mean is you may be so mad at or hurt by someone...blast them out on social media...calm down after some time has passed and patch things up with them. Other people who read your post and take sides. They may not be as forgiving as you. I think your best bet would be to keep certain things like that off social media. It is ok to keep some things private ;-) I am not saying you can't vent to a good friend or confidant, you just don't need to do it in a public forum for the world to see.
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